An Open Letter to Lush, makers of Fresh Handmade Cosmetics

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to express my distinct displeasure at the quality of your "Think Pink" bath bombs.
As part of a thoughtful, spontaneous gift, The Boy recently purchased me an assortment of your bath bombs and other goodies. He is also aware of my penchant for the colour pink. This naturally resulted in his purchase including one or two the aforementioned "Think Pink" bath bomb variety.

I have spent the last 4 days in bed with flu. What better way to reward myself than by using one of your delightful products I ask myself? I pop one of said Think Pink bombs into my bath, gingerly step in and relax away.

Unfortunately, the flu means that after around 10 minutes I am shivering violently and forced to abandon attempts at bathing. However, your products have suitably relaxed me and I do not feel upset by this situation. Job done you might say? Oh no. On getting out of the bath and emptying the water I discover a 3 inch deep pink watermark. It took me twice the amount of time I was able to spend in the bath to scrub said pink line away. After which I was thoroughly exhausted and forced to retreat under the duvet for the duration of the evening.

I would hardly consider ten minutes to be an average duration of a relaxing bath, what happens to the poor people who decide they dare relax for half an hour? And more to the point, what sort of ridiculous, half-assed, thoughtless company manufactures bath bombs that are going to STAIN THE BATHS OF PEOPLE WITH FLU who have made said washing excursion the HIGHLIGHT OF THEIR DAY?

Yours grumpily,

Franglaise

The tone of this letter may or may not be related to me having run out of lemsip and nurofen. Help.